Study Guide: Physics Jokes
Chemistry jokes are funny periodically, but physics jokes…
The science of Physics creates long, complicated equations to explain why…
A photon checks into a hotel.
The front desk asks “Do you need help with your luggage?” What does the photon reply?
Frames of Reference
A bar walks into a man… oops, wrong frame of reference. A neutrino walks through a bar…
Dead Physicists
It has been scientifically proven that old physicists never die. What actually happens to them (scientifically-speaking of course)?
What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
What did one electron say to the other electron?
Why should you always travel with neutrons?
Where does bad light go?
How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
What looks blue and smells like red paint?
Schrodinger and the Cop
Schrodinger and Heisenberg were out driving together when they were pulled over by a policeman.
The cop walks up to the window and asks, “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know exactly where I was.”
The cop is not amused and orders the physicists to open their trunk. He looks inside and sees a dead cat.
“Do you know there is a dead cat in your trunk?”
Schrodinger replies, “Well, I do now!”
How many lives do radioactive cats have?
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One turns to the other and says, “Oh, no! I think I lost an electron!”
The other responds, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive!”
Studying radioactivity is as easy as what?
Newton’s Square
Einstein, Newton and Pascal were playing Hide and Seek.
Einstein slowly counted to 100 while Pascal ran off and hid.
Newton carefully drew a square on the ground with a side measure of 1 meter, and sat down in the middle it.
When Einstein finished counting and pened his eyes, he immediately spotted Newton. “That was easy, I found you Newton!” he proclaimed with pride.
Newton replied “No you didn’t, I’m Pascal.”
Two cats slide off a roof. Which one hit the ground first?
What did the male magnet say to the female magnet?
What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
Have you heard of the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero.
What’s the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?
What did the subatomic duck say?
The Physicist’s Husband
A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife’s obsession with physics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: “Do you love Physics more than me?”
“Of course not, dear–I love you much more!”
Happy, although skeptical, he challenges her: “Well, then prove it!”
Pondering a bit, she responds: “Ok… Let epsilon be greater than zero…”
Physics Limerick
There was an old lady called Wright
Who could travel much faster than light.
She departed one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.